Emotional Eater

This poem was selected as a finalist in poetry for the Slice Literary Conference's Bridging the Gap competition in September 2016.

Emotional Eater

May 3, 2016

I am an emotional eater -

Of words.

I can binge myself for hours,

gobbling them so fast I sometimes have to

flip through the pages in disbelief of

the quantity I have consumed.

Indigestion,

Burning in my throat like a swig of bad whiskey,

Fearing all the while that they will regurgitate within me

And come back out in a burning gust of release,

Smelly and disgusting,

Leaving me weakened on a cold bathroom floor.

But I cannot resist eating more.

Finding those morsels of sweetness that soothe me

Phrases of Kaopectate that slowly crawl down my throat

Coating my insides

Protecting them from another batch of fiery phrase.

Words to be chewed,

mashed between my molars

mixed with the acids in my digestive tract,

Becoming part of me.

Their spice

seeping from my pores

so that I may smell

of Shakespeare

or Dickens

or Angelou,

Depending on the day.

And so -

I become a chemist.

Wanting to mix my words,

Turn new phrases,

Develop a scent that will be uniquely mine.

Serve a salad with a casserole of words

That are not ever truly mine.

I can only use the leftovers to reconstitute a new meal.

And if my guests do not arrive,

I will gorge myself on these new concoctions.

Savor some -

Spit some out.

Rejection is not a judgement,

Just a realistic way of sorting words,

Of finding sustenance.